


Oasis

by OhThatsViolet



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:29:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28112433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhThatsViolet/pseuds/OhThatsViolet
Summary: Their relationship was meant to be something easy and casual but when Loba begins to fall for Elliott, nothing scares her more than her own feelings.
Relationships: Loba Andrade/Mirage | Elliott Witt
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	Oasis

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Twitter & Tumblr: ohthatsviolet

Loba could hardly bear to look over her shoulder at the sleeping individual behind her. Her nails dug into the mattress as she sat with hunched shoulders on the edge of the bed. She was tempted, but she knew if she looked she wouldn’t be able to resist climbing back into bed with him, just to feel the warmth of his skin against hers. She couldn’t let herself do that. It would just make all of this so much harder. She could almost imagine what he looked like. He would be lying on his stomach, with one arm tucked securely under his pillow. He would have rolled out of the blankets and the sheet would be twisted around his legs and barely covering the curve of his backside; it was the way she’d wake-up to find him most mornings, which was the beginning of her problem. 

Their relationship had begun as a fun, occasional thing. It was a nice way to spend her free time and that was all it was ever meant to be. But as the weeks began to pass, Elliott had begun to spend almost every night by her side. What was supposed to be the occasional night spent between the sheets to blow off some steam after a particularly long day, turned to quiet evenings spent listening to her favourite songs, over a candle-lit meal and a bottle of wine the trickster would have proudly chosen himself. He’d tell her stories about growing up on Solace and she’d listen and laugh along, but she’d do it genuinely; not the way she’d pretend to when cosying up to someone she wanted something from. He loved cooking for her, singing softly into her ear while they playfully danced around the penthouse and encouraging her to take her shoes off and just relax. 

And she loved him for it. 

She wished she could spit the words from her mouth and they’d leave her system and float away with the early morning breeze. She had to get out of there. It wouldn’t be the first time Elliott would awake in her apartment alone. She was a busy woman and he respected that.   
_Bastard._  
Why did he have to be so...him?   
Loba had decided to take a walk to clear her head but ended up taking to the rooftops instead. It’s where she felt most at peace; sailing through the sky and stopping to occasionally perch herself somewhere out of sight, so she could look down at the world below. Usually, she’d do this when trying to spot someone with something she wanted. But today, she just wanted to observe. The city wasn’t very busy at this time of day, but there were a few people pottering around. They were probably just about to start their day, going to work and such; doing normal, everyday things. She wasn’t sure if she envied them or not. She definitely wouldn’t have once. But now...No. She couldn’t let herself fall into that mindset. 

This was all Elliott’s fault. Her life had been so simple, in a sense, before he’d come along. She’d always known exactly what she wanted out of life. Her goal and life path was to avenge her parents’ deaths and put a stop to that demonio for good. But for the first time in many years, she felt so unsure. She wondered if they would have liked him. Mamãe would have. Papai would probably question him on what he had to offer her, before turning soft when he saw the child-like sparkle in her eyes whenever he was near. She felt like everything was so blurred now, like she was crawling through a storm and the only oasis she could see was him; but she couldn’t tell if she should waste precious time clawing towards him or accept that it was all just a mirage and move on.   
_Hmph. How fitting._  
She shook her head as if trying to physically shake the intrusive thought away. She couldn’t think like this. She knows her parents would want her to stay focused on the job at hand.   
‘Life can be hard. Especially the way we live it.’   
She never quite understood the second piece of her mother’s advice until now. She had to deal with this while she still had the strength to do it. 

It was late into the day when she’d arrived back at the penthouse. She was half-hoping Elliott would have taken a ship home by now. She wasn’t sure if he was scheduled to tend his bar tonight. Loba could feel the tension beginning to creep into her shoulders as soon as she stepped inside and heard the clattering of cutlery. Elliott was at the sink, washing up their discarded dishes from the night before. He looked up as soon as he heard the clicking of her heels on the tiles and smiled.   
“Hey. I thought you were gone on a job or something. If I knew you’d be back so soon, I would’ve gotten dinner started. You never replied to my text so I just assumed…”   
He trailed off when he noticed she wasn’t looking at him but was looking away and to the side, with her arms folded tightly over her chest. Elliott wiped the suds from his hands on a nearby dish towel before taking a tentative step towards her.   
“Is everything...okay?”  
She wanted to tell him that he was the problem but she knew in her heart that wasn’t true. None of what she was feeling was his fault. He’d been nothing but gentle and kind to her and it was killing her that she couldn’t offer him the same treatment. Elliott hadn’t done anything wrong; this was all on her. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” she said, after an agonisingly long pause for the both of them. “I just...I want you to leave.”  
The trickster’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion.   
“Why...I thought...Did I do something wrong?”  
Her nails dug into her upper arm. She wanted to lie and say he had. She wanted to make up some excuse and say something that would make him hate her. She wanted to tell him that he was too clingy, too selfish and the thought of ever climbing into bed with him or being held by him again made her feel sick to her stomach. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it; the hurt that was slowly creeping into his features was almost too much for her to take as it was.   
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I want you gone. So leave.”  
She turned her back on him after that, unable to look at those sad, brown eyes for a moment longer. She waited to hear him drag his feet away but he took a step closer instead.   
“No.”  
“Excuse me?”  
“No, I won’t...I won’t leave. Not until you tell me why you want me to go.”  
Anger was beginning to boil in her stomach but it wasn’t directed at him. It was because of this situation she’d found herself in. Still, that anger needed to be unleashed somewhere and he was standing on her warpath, so it all came pouring down on him, like an over-boiling pot on a stove.   
“Just get out! Go home!” she began, whirling on him. “I do not want you here! What part of that can you not understand?!”  
“The part where you’re suddenly breaking up with me for no reason!”  
“I’m not breaking up with you because we were never together!” Loba hissed. “I’m simply putting an end to...whatever this is...was.”  
“Just...tell me why,” Elliott whispered, his tone desperate and the waver in his voice obvious.   
“Because I’m falling for you!” she said, before she had a chance to stop herself. “And that...that terrifies me.”

A stunned silence fell over them both. The space between them was so quiet, Loba could swear she could hear the trickster swallow before speaking up.  
“You know I...care about you too, r-right? This...isn’t a bad thing.”  
“It doesn’t matter,” she said, sounding utterly defeated. “It doesn’t matter how we feel. This...can’t continue.”  
“Stop saying that!” Elliott said firmly, his fingers curling into fists at his sides. “It can! We just continue on like we were! Nothing’s changed.”  
“I was stupid to let it go on as long as I have,” Loba whispered with a shake of her head. “I have Revenant to deal with and just being around me puts you in danger. I can’t...I won’t drag you into my mess.”  
The trickster stepped towards her and she allowed him to take her hands in his own.   
“You’re not dragging me into anything. I want to be here. With you.”  
“Elliott…”  
Her gut told her to pull away when he leaned his forehead against hers but her heart wouldn’t allow it. She blinked a few times in an attempt to hold back the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes, while Elliott closed his like he was about to make a wish.   
“Please don’t make me go.”  
Loba couldn’t resist the urge to reach up and cup his face, skimming her thumb lightly through his beard.  
“I can’t give you the life you want.”  
“You are the life I want.”  
She nodded in acceptance. If he was willing to fight for her, she should return the favour. She owed him that much at least. Loba sucked on her lower lip and inevitably lost the battle against her emotions. He held her close and she clung to him as tears began to stream down her face, her sobs coming out as broken, choked howls as years of anguish and loneliness crashed over her like a tidal wave.   
“Shhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” Elliott murmured into her ear, his fingers tracing gentle circles into her back. “I’ve got you.


End file.
